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Jan. 3rd, 2010

hm?

Be welcomed, New Year

So year 2010 began and I hope at least some of my wishes and hopes would fulfil.
One of the wishes in which I'm hoping the most is meeting my friends more often, because this makes me feel absolutely dreadful now.
Today I'm gonna meet Baara in Prague and I'm really looking forward to see her after such a long time!

Today my former classmates are leaving for a ski school trip and after their return John and I decided to meet each other, so it seems pretty good now.

Tomorow school begins and I can't wait for it at all! Seeing those amazing teachers, laughing with Simca and especially education, which fills a big part of my spare time.

And also seeing Him. My platonic love! I absolutely fell in love and there's a little, very little possibility of getting in touch still and I really hope it should come true.

I'd like to be more active this year (at least first month) and I'm gonna plan a schedule for my spare time.

New Year's Eve wasn't that bad after all. I spent it with a son of our family friends - he brought some things for a waterpipe I have so we smoked it reaaally long time and had a lot of fun. We played some computer games, listened to music and just talked, so finally it went pretty good.

I have to do some shopping too! I got some money for Christmas and I have to buy a new skirt - I started loving skirts in October and I bought one which is really great, but I need some more ^ . ^

Also I got new hair-dye in a purple colour XD, so after this black-red I'm gonna have purple hair, mwaha! I cut my hair off like three weeks ago and I enjoy it pretty much ^__^

Let the New Year be awesome!

Dec. 30th, 2009

bridge

Hello?

I decided to return to LJ again, for a while.
And also not to tell everything what happened while I didn't post any entry, because nothing much happened. I was going to school, I moved to another town, been on Sonata Arctica's gig, visited my former school for a day and seen Shini for few hours. Nothing else comes to my mind.

Now about the presence.

I'm having winter holidays now. On 4th I'm coming back to school and I can't wait for it. I'm feeling sick at all.
I didn't enjoy Christmas well - I don't like them anyway and I absolutely didn't feel any Xmas mood. I bought all gifts just few days before the 24th of December, and if everywhere in Prague weren't lights, santas and all this mess, I'll surely forget the whole thing.

Day after Christmas, I went to Uvaly to spend some time with Pizla. It was nice, I returned two days after.

Ok, now, how am I feeling...
Um. Not really good...well, I didn't feel like this really long time.

Since we moved here to Vetrusice, where I'm living now, I don't have any friends.
Of course I meet Pizla sometimes, but just like once a week for an hour. My former classmates, my girls - Kitty, Henkie, John and others...I meet them just once a 2 months or something like that.
I don't have any friends here.

I've lost my Internet connection like 5 weeks ago (now I'm at stepfather's notebook) and how else - if you're not at Facebook, you don't exist.

I got two friends at school - Natal and Simona. Natal has some problems within her soul, she really fears people - social depression. Now she's hospitalized in Bohnice, medical institution. So now I'm having one real friend at school.

What else...my mum sometimes screams at me so much that I think I'll lose my eyes because of crying.

I'm living at the end of the world. Nothing is here, you shall go nowhere.

Today, Leayen sent me a message if we should meet because she wants to tell me something. I asked what it would be about and she answered that she'd like to make a film in spring and there would be "some scenes" where my ex plays and he chose me to be there with him.
Eh?!
I know I still didn't get rid of him. There are moments when I'd really like to write him a message, meet him...and I know that if there would be a possibility to be together again, I'll agree.
Sometimes I wrote him a message. But he always stopped the conversation and I know it's good. We can't be together again. We just can't.
And now? Hey you, I chose you for "some scenes".

Fuck the world.

There's a guy at my school. I...I absolutely fell in love to him. You know - there are many guys you like, but you don't feel it within, you just know they're handsome or sexy and so on, but this...I feel it inside. I don't know what was I talking about when I see him, I can't breathe normally...
He's looking at me too, but there's nothing else between us.
If he'd contact me or get in touch with me, I'll eat my cigarette pack.

I hope things would get better.

The only thing that pleases me is school. I love it, absolutely.
It's the best school ever. My marks are really great and I'm glad to know it.

I wish things would get better. I'm feeling so sad and lonely inside that I just feel like dying.


Sep. 2nd, 2009

colourful

I'm happy!

Oh my Cod, I am so happy.

It was my second day at new school today and I'm SO content.
Yesterday, my train was a bit delayed, so I was at school later then I expected - so me and Natal had to sit to the first line, so we shouldn't see faces of others. Though, the first day was nice.

Our class teacher is young and very nice, and I feel that she can be also sharp-minded. On the other, she is fine and pleasant.
Today, I met 4 other teachers which will teach me next 4 years. I find them really great - they're friendly, funny, just nice persons. If you don't know something, they don't have problems with making thing clear.

I've also written a placement test in english, I'm pretty curious about the results.

I just love my new school! Tomorrow I'm gonna buy most of the school-books and writing-books. And I'm so looking forward to go there again!

Tomorrow, education will start at 8.35 a.m. again (how pleasant!!) and I'll have just 4 lessons again - art teaching, informatics and 2 lessons of history.

I'm really content.

Aug. 30th, 2009

butterfly

Bleh, blah and melon face

 I didn't feel like writing last days - there was no interesting thing to write about, how else.

Today, I had a strange chaotic fear of the new school year. Mostly about my new classmates. I was searching their web profiles, reading the commentary of their photos and all the informations...oh-my-gosh.
Most of them seem to be a dumbass. Pheww. People writing "w" instead of "v" and all these freak stuff.
I hope the reality will be better.
Although, all the time there's Natalie. We settled that we're gonna sit together, so I hope we'll build a friendship. I won't survive with no one there!!

I also hope it's not so bad that I still don't have any single book or copy-book, 'cause one guy which is studying this school recommended us to buy this stuff later, after teachers will tell us what to look for.

I am SO curious about it all. But, as always, I think it's not gonna be that bad. This will be my 5th school and I don't have a big problem with adaptation, so...hopefully!!

Today, we planned to celebrate Pizla's B-day with Henkie, though me and Pizla were too sleepy to go somewhere to meet Henkie, and Henkie was too lazy to go to Pizla's place XD So nothing happened.
Though, I gave Pizla a B-day gift - she always wanted some original CD, so I gave her one of her loved ones - Dancing With The Dead by PAIN.

Well, I am gonna make a call to Shini, she's not feeling good...phew.

Good night, you all there!!

(P.S. That melon face...I had some fun with melon at Pizla's place, bwahaha...)

Aug. 25th, 2009

butterfly

Yumm!

 Yesterday there wasn't anything interesting to write about (like all the time), but today I decided to drivel something.

Oh my Cod, I realized how much do I love comics. I'm reading OOTS once again, in english presently (its author Rich Burlew forbad the site with czech translation months ago) and I just love it, mainly those first 100 pages, which are just legendary.
Also I began reading comics of whitedog1 on dA, which are also awesome. Same like comics of Rimfrost, also on dA.
Aaaaah it's a madness chasing me!!

(Also, tomorrow I'm gonna buy Red Meat book, mwahaa.)

Tomorrow Ely comes to Prague, so we'll spent 3 hours together. As a B-day present (she was 16 in May) I decided to go to a tearoom on my account, 'cause I just don't have inspiration for some original gift.
I am really looking forward to see her, the last time she was in Prague was in the beggining of December O__o"

Uhmm, I just love my new MP3 player, it's quite adorable and I am really enjoying it. Dankjewell.

I feel in bones my good mood will last to next day (eventually I hope so :D). Or maybe even longer, that would be pretty nice after all ^___^


Aaaaa, squiiid thingyyy! ((c) by OOTS)

Aug. 23rd, 2009

colourful

Cerolaine is a worker!! :D

 So, finally I am at home.
This day was more succesful, although it is Sunday and we were there early, so we missed the main line. Though, I've earned 495 crowns, which is for me pretty much! :D
I want to work there next week, but nobody answered my today's call, hopefully tomorow I'm gonna settle it up. Petra would go with me - my mum forbad me to go there alone.

Hooo, I am feeling so independent!
It's unbelivable I'm gonna be adult after just 3 years. I remember me and Pizla when we were 12 and we were washing up her parent's car, dreaming of our brigade-work at filling station. Well, now it all is presence. I am earning my own money, I'm going to high school...hey!

We had a lot of fun today again - ya, and also some Dutch was there at the filling station! I washed up his windows, also tried to recall some dutch phrases :D

These are the moments when I'm fully content with my whole life. And I am enjoying it at all. Just for this moment!



Aug. 22nd, 2009

butterfly

Hey, it was NOT a joke!

 Fuck the rain, grr.
We went to the filling station at about 9.30 a.m., but after an hour it began raining! So we decided to return to Uvaly. Hopefully, forecast is telling better weather for tomorow.
Also, it is Saturday so just few cars went there - although, we earned our great 65 crowns both! :D

Otherwise, we had a lot of fun and I spent my day not sitting beside the computer - that's quite positive!

So tomorow we'll go there again, then Pizla leaves - maybe just for 3 days, maybe for the whole week. I want to work there more, but there are some problems with walking the dog.
Never buy a dog to a flat! It complicates me EVERYTHING.
My mum also misunderstood the whole thing, how else. No need to try to clarife her my attitude, she won't agree (even listen to me).

I hope there would be some possibility for me to go there the next week too, because I'll be so bored =__= Pizla will be with her sister, Henkie's in Croatia in noone other is here to spend spare time with me. Boohooo.

Here's a small joke at the end of this entry :P :

*still raining, car arrives*
Pizla: "G'day, don't you wanna wash up the windows?"
Driver: "I don't think so, it's raining..." *laughing* 
Pizla: "That was NOT a joke."

Aug. 21st, 2009

butterfly

Phew?!

 So,
finally I decided to kick my ass, so tomorrow I'm gonna get up earlier and I'll go to that filling station with Pizla. I was so bored whole day and I didn't have to do anything, even walking the dog, so I spent whole day by the computer or TV X___X
So I just wrote a message to Zdena that I agree and I will go there with her.

The work is concerted to Sunday and if I'd like it and if it would be possible, l'll try to find somebody to go there with me for the last week of holidays. And then, the holidays will end up and I will face the new beggining.

I don't have much time - I am tired and I have to get up early, so I'm gonna have a shower NOW.

I am pretty curious about tomorow, I hope everything would be okay.

Aug. 20th, 2009

butterfly

Phew... *sigh*

 I just didn't feel like writing to LJ last days, though they were good, since today.

On 18th, I went to Prague with John to cinema to see Harry Potter and The Halfblood Prince. It was really nice - I was a huge fan of HP when I was younger, but still I bought the last book although I'm not reading it anymore. (But I swore one day I'm gonna read whole saga.)
Then we were just hanging out and then went to Uvaly, where we both slept at Pizla's place.

On 19th, I went to Prague again with my mother and brother, to get my brand new identity card X__X I better won't publish it anywhere.
We had a meal in restaurant and I also bought new T-shirt and amazing notepad (design with Bunny Suicides!). I have some nice plans about it ^__^
Then I slept again at Pizla's place - since I returned from Norway, I slept just ONCE at home O___O

Today, a phone call got me up, it was my mum that I have to be at home right now. So I just hurried up, walked the dog and went to bathroom to have a shower and make a human-being out of me.
My mum got angry because I was there too long in her opinion, so she began shouting at me. I just hate this stuff, because I can't solve it and it makes me so disapointed and gets me down, so I begin crying easily and I am just oversensitive.

So, as a punishment, I had to scrub whole bathroom, hoover whole flat, tidy up my room at all, then wipe whole flat...
At least I wasn't bored and the rage got out of me a little.

Pizla got new job today, simple washing windows of cars at the filling station. She was there with Lucka, they both earned 700 crowns, which is pretty much for me O__O Pizla asked me to go there with her at the day after tomorrow.

Oh God, I'm so ashamed of myself again. I'm such an awkward person so I think I'm gonna say no. I have pretty much money now, although - I'm bored at home and this could be a chance to divert myself and also earn some money.
But...I am queer, in a bad way. I am so uncertain, all the time. I just hate myself in this way (and many more too.)

Otherwise - I chatted with Ely after a long time and she told me she should come to Prague on Tuesday. We haven't seen each other for more then half a year, so I'm looking forward to see her - though she had B-day in May so I have to buy some gift for her!

I have The Gunslinger by S. King at home, I have to read it, I swore I'm gonna read the whole The Dark Tower saga.

I just don't feel like reading much. I don't feel like anything.

Aug. 17th, 2009

butterfly

The right enjoying of summer time

 So, finally I am in Czech republic, I arrived two days ago.

On 15th, I had a great day. I was laughing all the time, chatted with Kitty about our beloved topic - that means Edguy and its guitarist Dirk Sauer, who is our great object of passion :D
Then, Pizla phoned me and we went outdoor, just hanging out in the streets. Then I slept in her place, just like today.

She gave me first gift (I am having B-day now), with recommending me to use it only in exigence - guess, what it is? :D

Also we met Henkie yesterday, she was really pretty and looking well, tanned from Spain. She also put on weight, so now she's looking better.
Today, Zdena's friend (also mine), Lucka arrives and she's gonna be in Uvaly for few days.

So finally I am enjoying the summer time well - no travelling, just spending time with friends, music (and computer :P)

The beggining of new school year is approaching fast, I am so curious about it!

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